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[25 October 2004.1:52am] |
wonder if anyone even knows i have this?
well, i can talk to my self, i'm used to it =)
my cousin killed her self
my mom hates me
matt hates me, but it's becoming mutual
i'm doing shity in school
my life is a mess
i want to die =D
THE END!
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[20 September 2004.1:55am] |
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 confused |
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Evanescence - Lies |
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i NEVER use this thing
doubt any one will know i updated
shit pretty much SUCKS
my life's going to hell
i am " teh suck "
as i am reminded EVERYDAY
thanks felbie ;)
lol, anyways. . yeah
schools hard
too much drama
xox <3
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[06 May 2004.5:26pm] |
i never use this damn thing not sure why. .
last night was my concert, went okay, matt was txting the hole time
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[25 April 2004.12:28pm] |
im at matts reading his old journals. . crying my eyes out
i miss everything
the way u looked at me
the way u kissed me
the way u made me feel like i was the only person in this wold
i hope ur right about this break
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[18 April 2004.11:35pm] |
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i feel so alone
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[07 April 2004.5:43pm] |
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i was talkin to this girl who lives in west chester today and she was saying how cool it must be to live by the beach, and i was thinkin and yea its cool but its so not all its cracked up to be. old ppl everywhere, and then annoying little kids. then theres like garbage everywhere. its like people dont even care, assholes. so yesterday me and amanda picked up garbage like good citizens <3 but if ppl like the beach so much fuckin take care of it. . . ok *takes a breath of air* i feel like ive done my part for the enviorment today, i feel better
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[02 April 2004.6:59pm] |
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 amused |
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D12 - My Band <3 |
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broken tearsxxxx: i want a new book!
OcToPuS oF LuV: dont tell me yew finushed the other one
broken tearsxxxx: almost
broken tearsxxxx: lol
OcToPuS oF LuV: oh dang yew freak hehe <3
broken tearsxxxx: shush u
broken tearsxxxx: im trying to expand my mind <3
OcToPuS oF LuV: well its expaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaanding
broken tearsxxxx: ah
broken tearsxxxx: what if it gets too big
broken tearsxxxx: and my head explodes
broken tearsxxxx: omg!
OcToPuS oF LuV: then it will look like yew have a qatermelon for a head
broken tearsxxxx: gatermelon?
broken tearsxxxx: u mean watermelon?
OcToPuS oF LuV: watermelon
broken tearsxxxx: faggot!
broken tearsxxxx: haha
OcToPuS oF LuV: waaaaaaatever lol
OcToPuS oF LuV: and then yew wont be able to hear whats going on next to yew because your ears are in like china
LMFAO I LOVE HER! <3
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[01 April 2004.7:06pm] |
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 pissed off |
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Britney Spears - Showdown |
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wow, the deadjournal site is different, is exatly the same as live journal. . odd like a mofo.
so right now im in the middle of lying to every person i kno, including my self! "im okay" i keep saying. hell, if ppl believe me, awesome, if not, their smart.
guess what? i'll stop bitching, EVENTUALLLLLLLLLLLLY!! Lmao amanda <3
Chels0oo0o: what would u say if i dyed my hair blonde?
broken tearsxxxx: something along the lines of " ahh my eyes "
i find my self pretty funny. yep, i certinly do. i want to go to the bookstore =\ i want to start reading the books i cant afford and just go everyday and read. lol. its like when u go into a store and have a drink but u finish it before u leave, its okay. same conecpt, different product. well, ima bounce and shit i have to pEeEeEeEe. . .
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[31 March 2004.11:02pm] |
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 depressed |
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Slipknot - Spit It Out |
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i hate my life i hate my life i hate my life i hate my life i hate my life i hate my life i hate my life i hate my life i hate my life i hate my life i hate my life i hate my life i hate my life i hate my life i hate my life i hate my life i hate my life i hate my life i hate my life i hate my life i hate my life i hate my life i hate my life i hate my life i hate my life i hate my life i hate my life i hate my life i hate my life i hate my life i hate my life i hate my life i hate my life i hate my life i hate my life i hate my life i hate my life i hate my life i hate my life i hate my life i hate my life i hate my life i hate my life i hate my life i hate my life i hate my life i hate my life i hate my life i hate my life i hate my life i hate my life i hate my life i hate my life i hate my life i hate my life i hate my life i hate my life i hate my life i hate my life i hate my life i hate my life i hate my life i hate my life i hate my life i hate my life i hate my life i hate my life i hate my life i hate my life i hate my life i hate my life i hate my life i hate my life i hate my life i hate my life i hate my life i hate my life *TAKES DEEP BREATH* wow! venting feels GOOD! =\ now if only i could tell everyone else how i feel. . something REALLY bad sounds SO good right now, some one help me please =\
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[31 March 2004.3:29pm] |
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confused |
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Jack Off Jill - Angels Fuck |
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 matt always knows how to cheer me up. . to bad even this wont fix me today =\
amanda, whatever i did, im sorry
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[30 March 2004.7:13pm] |
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crushed |
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Corporate Avenger - The Bible Is Bull Shit |
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today i went to school. yay. . not. lol. after school i saw lotsa ppl. matthew was there <3 i also saw angela! i havent seen her in almost a year, shes so pretty! shes a modle now!! lol, me and chelsea and matt and amanda went to the store cuz chelsea and i needed poster board to school. on the way i saw kenny! i havent seen him in a while either. he's home schooled now and works a enstien bagle place. i thought u needed to pass a drug test to get a job :p lol, ne ways, so we all went out seperate ways after. me and amanda came back here watched Crule Intentions. then we watched Charmed. fun times. her moms and bia and made her go home. now im all alone </3>biology</u> B+
history C
algebra C
science C
geometry D
chorus A
english B
i feel stupid, needless to say.
(im sry matthew, i love you)
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[29 March 2004.10:26pm] |
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cranky |
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Ying Yang Twins - Salt Shaker |
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today was SO uneventful =\
went to school, came home, slept, ate dinner, and talked on the phone. wow, my life is boring.
tomorrow amandas comming over after school <33 yay. im gonna drag her to come with me and chels to the store, yay. lol.
today i asked my friend cynthia to make me a choker <3 she makes the pretties stuff but i asked for a pink and black one <3 yay for me. lol. this weekends gonna be kinda gay. my mom has the hole week of spring break off. its acctually kinda good. but yeah, me and mike are gonna hang out over spring break <3 ray told me we have to hang out, sounds good to me! lol. well i jus got outa the shower and im off to call my amanda <33 pEaCe
(edit and OF COURSE IM GOING TO HANG OUT WIHT AMANDA OVER SPRING BREAK<3)
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[29 March 2004.12:39am] |
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 crazy |
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Britney Spears - Brave New Girl |
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im bored and i cant sleep
talkin to felbie on the phone, well, not really, we're jus kinda not talkin, its all good
im a slut piece apparently, AWESOME!
i didnt do much today. i went out to dinner w/ my family for my aunts birthday then came home to watch the Briteny Spears concert on TV <3 it was awesome, but she had brown hair and im not sure if i liked it or not, i really like the blonde. lol, i wish i was her =\ oh well! im bored like a mofo. . .felbies tryin to kill him self, yay!! haha jus kiddin. . im outtie to try and sleep. peace assholes.
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[27 March 2004.12:03pm] |
okay, last night amanda slept over <3 we went to Hollywood Video and got like 5 movies, we watched one *Thirteen* and then the vcr died...
OMFG this movie was SO my life, its about this girl whos 13 and gets mixed up with the wrong people. she starts bein a slut, doin drugs, cutting, stealin, and fighting with her mom. . hello?! any one see resembalence?! god it was freaky, after we watched it i was all shooken up bc yeah, i got to see it from the outside. yeah. so anyways.
we have 4 movies left to watch, Once Upon A Time In Mexico, Crazy/Beautiful, Crule Intenions, and Cabin Fever. We have to wait for my mom to leave tho so we can use her vcr. . .thats prolly all we'll do today, sounds good to me :) im outtie <3
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[26 March 2004.7:00pm] |
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 bouncy |
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Evanescence - Whisper |
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i went to my grandma's today. didnt do much
she asked me what was on my arm, i know she'll tell my mom
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[25 March 2004.9:43pm] |
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content |
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Story Of The Year - Dive Right In |
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this is my new book, its awesome
ChErRyLuVr11289: its like cruel intentions gone maddd
thats exatly what it is, i read like over 100 pgs today and its only 200 pgs, thank god they have 3 others aside from this. i have 6 charmed books i still havent gotten around to reading, and Ginger Bread, hannah read it and said that its good but a little creepy. i want to read cut again. i love reading. .it makes me think, a lot
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[25 March 2004.7:22pm] |
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confused |
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Paul Oakenfold - Southern Sun |
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today before school matt and i were supposed to go to dennys, but he got there late n stuff so we walked to publix n then i went to school. it was good to see matthew <3 school was sad...
john carlo (*flick*) got REALLY hurt, he was practicing back tucks in his front yard alone, didn't land one. his mom found him god only knows how long later. he landed on his neck. he's temporaraly paralzied and in the hospital. everyones really shaken up or it. thinkin one of our friends can never move again </3>
i was really stressed today, between it bein the end of the qt, and the thing with flick and just everything, so sorry to anyone if i was pissy..
i got a new book yesterday *Gossip Girl* theres like a hole series. its a lot like Crule Intentions <3 so my scene! lol. its like 200 pgs and im on pg 50. its weird. i hate to read for school but once i find a book i like, i can't put it down. i think everyones like that tho. tomorrow im going to my grandma's and then over the weekend in stayin home alone, prolly going to go to my grandma's again next week. spring breaks not that far off. my mom said that even tho im grounded, when her and maggie go to the condo, since its right across the street from the beach she said amanda and i can go <3 it'd be awesome, spendin the hole day at the beach and theres a pool n shit. so cool. lol, passovers also over spring break
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[24 March 2004.3:05pm] |
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aggravated |
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Crazy Town - Stary Eyed Surprise |
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school was cool today
i only had to go to 4 classes.
idolize me was awesome, me, devyon and tabytha were dancin like woah! melissa won and shes goin to finals, i knew she would <3
this sunday is like this little picnic for chorus ppl. . me amanda(not shorty) and melissa might to togther. it'll be good to get outa the house and chill with ppl from school.
april 16th is chorus line i think ima be ungrounded for that, but regardless i think my mom will let me go bc its a "school function" lol, i kinda like gettin involved with school shit *feels dorkish* i have a lotta make up work to do today, but i think my grades are gonna be pretty good, all A's B's and C's. I refuse to get a D. . id like chop off my hand or something :p
amanda went to mikelas today, im not mad or nada, it jus sucks, ya kno, i wanna go out. lol
My New Rule
Im not going to go outa my fucking way to talk to people, (except maybe Amanda cuz i could be standing infront of her and she can not see me!) if you want to fucking talk to me, then do so, other wise don't fucking waste my time
Ok, i came up with that today bc fuckin ppl are all "ur my best friend" or "i <3 u" and fuck that, they dont have the common curtisy to talk to me, so whatever people. . yeah, im in a shity mood. certin ppl can do that to me =\ well ima go do chores get some sleep before my mom comes home because she and i are goin out to dinner. . .
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[23 March 2004.7:12pm] |
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 blah |
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Delerium - Scilence (Airscape Remix) |
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school's all look at me i go by ubbbbbbbbbbbber fast!! lol. it was like SUPER SONIC FAST ;) sh manda!! <3
i came home and jus went to sleep again, like yesterday. i dont think i want dinner. . . i eat too much :\
im a bored mo fo AND i missed charmed
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creative
Beckham <33
Roddick <33